I've decide to use this much neglected blog to post my new writing and drawings that will concentrate on my life struggles with mental health issues and Asperger’s Syndrome. I almost feel embarrassed revealing the Asperger thing since it is so trendy right now. It seems everyone claims that title these days for what ever reason. In my case, the symptomatology is overwhelming. I am just grateful to have the realization of what has caused my life difficulties and failures. At least now I can move forward while working on correcting those things that I have allowed myself to suffer. Unlike some, I don’t think of the disorder as some sort of badge of honor that I can wave in the air and proudly brag about as if it makes me more special than “normal” people or neurotypicals as Aspies like to call everyone else who doesn’t have the condition. No, I don’t feel special because I “think differently.” I have had to fight quite hard to force myself into forward motion to accomplish the smallest things. I have not found my life to be enjoyable. My attitudes, my personal relationships, my emotions, my actual physical energy have been affected by this damned syndrome. I consider myself, at age fifty-two, to be a failure. It is now, with finding ways to compensate and cope with Asperger’s, that I hope to climb out of my very deep hole.
My intent is not to proclaim myself an expert on Asperger’s Syndrome. My
intent is to only convey and portray my particular life story. If anyone finds
what I have to convey interesting, then great. If not, those who don’t like what
I write or draw can kindly keep on moving on to something else. I’m not
interested in debating about the subject. This is my experience and that is all
that matters to me.
I hope to use this forum as a self-help tool. It is to give myself some goals
to achieve. I will force myself to think harder and draw harder, to write more.
This is for me. If you, the reader, are interested in what I am about to do,
then great! I hope there will be many future introductions to others who are
struggling with life as I am. Hopefully we can help each other.
P.S. I hope to avoid anything political or religious. I’ve had enough of
those arguments and all any of it has done for me is create more anxiety and
actual headaches. I want this to be my journey into my psyche. I hope there will
be some humor, some cartoons, drawings and photography of my own that will help
illustrate what ever I decide to write about. I’d like to also note that I am in
no way a professional or even educated writer. This blog will be stream of
though with very little polish. That’s just me. I hate pressure!