Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Quik Post

I'm stuck trying to use a free 56K dial up provider for the next week but I just had to comment on some things. Why does cable Internet have to be so damned expensive!

First, even though I'm not a big Clinton fan, I do wish the news would stop making it seem as if he threw a huge tantrum on national TV. If these "journalist" jackasses think that what they saw was a temper in action they should have seen me dealing with my five year old back in the 90's. Hell, Clinton never even stopped smiling and his face didn't get red. Can US journalists become even more pathetic and useless than they already are? You wouldn't think so but that is assuming they have some basic talent. From my viewing experience and my personal experience interacting with these people--I must say they are some of the dumbest, most clueless group I've ever encountered. I didn't think Clinton went far enough. He probably has plenty more to say but politics keep him in check. I'm sure he is thinking about possible damage to Hillary's presidential campaign. He shouldn't. I'm sorry, but there is no way in hell Hillary is getting elected president. Oprah probably has a better chance. Centrists get on my nerves and Hillary is too disliked in general by too many US citizens. As Kerry kept robotically repeating, "we can do better."

Finally, I need to address some written comments by Will Durst. Read this first:

Compassionate Torturer
Raging Moderate, by Will Durst

I always tremble like a hamster duct-taped to a rototiller when George Bush struts into the spotlight on the world stage, as he did this week when addressing the U.N. The same feeling I get when San Francisco Giants closer Armando Benitez takes the mound in a save situation. It's a cover-your-eyes and peek- through-your-fingers sort of thing. A breath-holding, whispered-prayers kind of time. Exciting, but not in what you call your good way. In a sweaty way.

Especially now, after six years of being a reluctant part of the studio-audience laugh track for his sitcom; we've seen his work, we know too much. So many things could screw up. What if the teleprompter goes awry and he tries to exercise his ad lib skills? Could he drag us into a war by mistake? Again? Suppose the first ADHD POTUS succumbs to the urge to wander around the General Assembly and begins to apply unrequested back rubs to female heads of state? Can a country be prosecuted for sexual harassment?

What if a second Red Bull encourages him to attempt to pronounce Iranian President Ahmadinejad's name? In front of people? And what about his safety - aren't we exposing him to unnecessary risk? Say he gets the munchies, pops some pretzels and starts choking. Again. Mightn't the U.N. EMTs remember previously forgotten appointments once they discover the identity of their prone, blue patient?

Or, god forbid, he'll start to lecture the international community on the subtle intricacies of the "moral high ground," which apparently means speaking from the taller pile of dead enemy bodies. Or even worse, fleshes out his "compassionate torture" concept. Explain how America would never torture people. We just don't want to rule it out. How what we utilize is properly called "enhanced interrogation techniques." So having those car battery cables attached to that man's nipples isn't torture, just "portable energy amplification."

I'm sure getting branded "the devil" by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez in New York was easy duty compared to a week of being branded "torture king" by renegade conservatives in DC. Besides, we all know the president isn't the devil. Cheney is. The president is one of his eager little helpers. Like Renfield to Dracula. Kevin J. O'Connor in "The Mummy." The Nazi-helping monkey in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

Its obvious the president assumed his retroactive, military tribunal reform bill was going to be a slam dunk from a stepladder, but was confronted, not by obstructionist Democrats who regularly quiver in their frilly underwear when not sitting down to pee, but by three Republican Senators, who claim that if this bill passes, hold for it our troops will be endangered.

You got to love the irony of the president having that phrase batted back into his face. And waving the oversized racquet is John McCain himself, whose graduate degree in the subject trumps the president's skimming of the course description in the syllabus. We're talking about someone who's whose lived through torture. And no, I'm not talking about the 2000 Republican primary in South Carolina. Mister President, please leave the torture business to people with some experience in it - Karl Rove, Howie Mandel and the U.N. translators of Hugo Chavez's speech.

Comic, writer, actor, radio talk show host, moral high ground casualty, Will Durst, in answer to the question "Deal, or No Deal," says "no deal."

Copyright ©2006 Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc., syndicate. Will Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. See for additional information on Will's performance schedule. Catch Will on KQKE or Email Will at

I sent a small email off to Mr. Durst letting him know what I thought of his "ADHD POTUS" comment. Here's the email I sent:

Dear Mr. Durst,

First, let me write that I completely agree with the terror you feel when der Dunderhead Fuhrer "takes the world stage." I am also the last person to bitch and moan about political correctness. I've argued many times with my own editors that this concept is death to political humor or cartoons. I do wish however, that you would have chosen a better moniker for GW. ADHD POTUS? I think you will find most ADDERS and high functioning autism types to be significantly more intelligent than that stunted frat boy who piddles while Rome burns. I also take exception to the chimp references others place on Bush. I'm not an anthropologist but I think chimps have a better grasp of language and social skills. Oh well. I'm sure you will be barraged by complaints about the ADHD thing but I am not offended really. Shit, maybe if we can get GW properly diagnosed, we might also get him on the correct medication and our national nightmare might find some relief.

David Baldinger

I usually revel in any Bush humor made publicly and I'm certainly not the type who whines about being offended every two seconds. Hey, I'll admit that I've been hospitalized in a mental health facility more than once for my various conditions but even I thought the Vermont Teddy Bear from a coulple years ago was cute. It was a teddy bear in a strstraightcket for Valentine's Day. The motif was "I'm crazy about you." Mental health advocates bitched loud enough that the bear was pulled from sale. Too bad. I would have bought one just for the damned straight jacket! We all should have a sense of humor about so many "sensitive" subjects.

I really don't think the Shrub suffers with learning disabilities like so many of us do. I just think he is an idiot with bobbleheaded thought processes. He's a spoiled rich kid with too much privilege during his younger days and very little assumption of responsibility.

1 comment:

Alex said...

: )